Van Damn

Only when we reach the the south island do we spot our first fellow Cruzy Camper. Our eyes have been peeled for another since we hit the road and I promise Jenn that when we finally do see another Cruzy, there will be plenty of mad honking for our compatriots.

On the road to Kaikoura, we see our first, coming towards us.

"Could it be?" Both of us strain to see the logo on the front. "I think it is!"

The poor couple in the other van are completely baffled as to why two grinning idiots are leaning on the horn and waving like fiends at them, but at the last moment, as two camper vans pass, I see a glint of recognition and a smile from the female passenger as she catches the Cruzy Van logo. And then they are gone...

Terry and Anne Marie from Arizona are the first fellow Cruzy Camper people we meet in person. They pull into a site in our motor camp in Te Anau and I stalk them in the laundry room.

"Hey, you have a Cruzy Camper too! What a coincidence! What number do you set your fridge at?" It's a great conversation starter. We compare campers. Their model has tinted windows of which we are envious. They are also using their porta-potty which freaks us out a little. I inform them they seem to be missing the 42 inch flat screen TV which came with ours. What gives? Ha ha.






We also trade stories about the Cruzy people, Andrew and Jenny, and we all agree their personable service makes the difference. Plus, there's all the perks and small details they include with their campers, like full coverage insurance, a BBQ, fold up chairs and table, the porta-potty... Terry says he put all the camper companies and their deals down on a big spreadsheet and then crunched the numbers. Cruzy, for price and the extras, came out on top. Hand it to Jenn — she did the research and found the very same thing.

We keep meeting Terry and Anne Marie along the west coast — they seem to be on the same schedule, just three hours behind. Terry suggests we print out our agenda each morning and hand it to them, save them the work of reading up in the guidebook where to go next. Tonight, in our DOC site in Lake Paringa, lo and behold, their Cruzy pulls up beside ours — we're together again!






We have driven from Wanaka and stopped at Monro Beach to check out the pounding surf and search for the elusive crested penguins (none to be seen unfortunately).





I invite them over for a drink and then spend the next half hour figuring out how to fit four people comfortably in the van... We agree to try meeting up in Franz Josef tomorrow for a proper drink in a proper venue.

New Zealand and Australia (so we hear) are pretty much camper van mecca. There are literally dozens of companies promoting the camper van as THE way to see the country. The big seven are Britz, Maui, Apollo, Pacific Horizon, Kea, United and Back Packer. Every other van on the road is one of these lucky seven. They have cornered the market on the big and bulky four sleepers with deluxe kitchens, a flush toilet and lounging areas.







They also do the luxury two sleepers (more spacious and with perks like fold out grills and mood lighting) and a few budget two sleepers (basic campers with the extended roof in order to allow stand while changing your underpants).

Everyone else is in the budget two sleeper business and they've all carved out their niche market. Wicked, Hippie Campers and Escape loan out low rise Mazda Bongos sporting tasteless graffiti art with pop culture references. You can't miss them coming down the road (which I guess is the idea). Aimed at the twenty something crowd, they appear to be doing a booming business with the trio traveller combinations (two guys-one girl, two girls-one guy). Not sure what's up there...







Juicy Vans and Spaceship target the fun loving and hip 30 something audience. A little more sedate with their van decoration, they offer the low rise roof and "Look at me, I can fully stand up" 2 sleeper budget options.

And then there are the rest — Explore More, Cruzy, Wenderresein, Tui, Happy Campers, Econo, Budget, Discover NZ, South Island Travel, Freedom Campers, Rotorua Camper Vans and Bee Free Campers, just to name a few. Some of them, bigger operations with a few big and bulky four sleepers thrown in — most of them, mom and pop shops who have bought the retired budget 2 sleeper camper models from the big seven and are scrapping it out for the last pieces of the market. Our Cruzy used to be a Pacific Horizon — you can still make out the old logo etched on the side of the driver's side door.

I have decided the Scubby is about as "low" as I can go on the camper scale. We often marvel at people who pull up at a campsite in just a rental car and in the rain, whip a tent out of the trunk, heat up soup over a gas flame and then hit the sack. How can they possibly do that, night after night, for weeks, sometimes months, and still remain upbeat? And yet they do.

Or the low rise vans, which look so gloomy and cramped — scoleoisis promoters with nowhere to stand up straight, cooking dinner under the back hatch out in the sandfly swarm. I wonder how they can do it without losing their marbles?

You adapt to what you have. When we first got the Cruzy, I wondered how long it would be before one of us started tearing up the cushions like a caged pit bull, but now it feels like home. Mostly comfortable. You adapt to what you have and make it work. You know nothing else.

Although, sometimes I think I'd like to stretch out on the couch of one of those big lucky seven campers.

Just one time.


Jenn offers these possible new ad slogans for a few of the camper companies:

Escape — Because that's what you'll want to do after a week in our cramped vans....

Wicked — As in the wicked hunch back you'll develop trying to cook dinner...

Spaceship — More like a cluttered launch pod to send small monkeys and dogs into orbit!

Juicy — How you'll smell after a few days in our cozy home on wheels...

Back Packer — You'll wish you really were one after being stuffed in our vans!

Explore More — Of your navel, that is. It's about all you can see from inside our 2 sleeper...

Happy Campers — Or do we mean Crappy Campers?


Note: We have decided that if we start our own camper van business in NZ, we will follow the bird theme (Kea, Tui, Kiwi...) and call our outfit, Whio Campers (Whio, pronounced wee-oh, being the rare NZ blue duck). Our slogan will be "Keep it Whio". Har har.