Transitions

It is the many transitions in the day that sometimes drive us mad.

The entire day is made up of small transitions. We are trying to recognize this is exactly the practice we need - getting comfortable and releasing into the moment that a transition brings.

This entire adventure is about transitions - large and small - and how we face them. We began by choosing to leave Toronto and Keir's job. Then selling the house. Those were the starts of the major transition for us, which at times was not always comfortable or easy. Yet, as we went along, things seemed to fall into place. The "flow" seemed to be encouraging of our decision.

People would tell us that what we did took "a lot of courage". It never felt like that to us. Hard work and patience yes, but courage, we never really considered. In a way, it almost felt easy. The hardest part was everything leading up to deciding to leave, sell, go. Once we'd made that choice, it just happened. There was a lot of physical work in packing up the house, but whenever we would check in with each other, we both still felt a sense of calmness amongst the chaos.

So, how are we doing in the smaller day to day transitions? Well, we're transitioning to all the transitions. Sometimes we handle them with ease and other times we get swept away with frustration.

The fact that we live and drive in a camper van is a transition itself. Sometimes Scubby is a kitchen, sometimes a bedroom, sometimes a living room, other times a vehicle. Always we are adjusting the space to suit the time of day. In the van, transitions are made trickier by trying to figure out the location of any needed item. No matter how organized we try to be, finding an item can take ages. Scubby just eats time in a transition (and apparently also eats the items we are forever looking for!). Is the fridge switch flipped? Are the top vents closed? Are all doors locked?

What is it that makes a transition difficult though?

As we hiked along the coastal trail in Cape Reinga we discussed this topic. I posited that it was the amount of time a transition can eat up that makes it so challenging. Being someone who is supremely organized, I find irritation rising up in me whenever we get to a hiking spot and have to take another 20 minutes to get the van all sussed. What happened to grabbing the backpack and heading out? It is an exercise in patience for me.

Deep breath. Ground out. We'll be on our way when we are on our way.

I continue to recognize the moment of frustration when I am in it. At least doing so (when I CAN do so) seems to take a bit of the momentum out of the push to get a move on.

Keir thought the toughest part of a transition was a result of shifting your focus from one thing to another. When we were teaching, transitions tended to be a tricky time for the students. It was difficult for them to stop something they were giving their full attention to. With us, we are constantly having to switch our focus. Could that be it?

As soon as we get some flow going, let's say when we are driving, and we see somewhere we want to stop. Like a place to hike. It is then that the transition process begins. What shoes do we wear, what to do with the valuables, do we have water, what snacks will we need, what clothing options are essential, do we have sunscreen applied? And then there is the process of FINDING all these things.

There is also the consideration of the other person. You are either the one who is waiting while the other get him/herself sorted, or you are the one doing the sorting knowing that the other person is already ready to go (or knowing that they are waiting to get in to get sorted which feels as though there is a hold up).

When we apply these things from the small daily transitions to the larger life transitions, they still seem to work. I remember being so deeply frustrated with the amount of time it took me to recover from all the bad stuff at That Place. When am I going to be "through to the other side" I wondered? I was also consistently concerned with how I was affecting Keir. Was he disappointed in how I was handling things? Was he fed up? Worried? Too worried? My brain kept grabbing on to anything it could, possibly (most likely) even holding up the process.

Through our talks we are becoming more aware of how essential it is that we continue to face these daily transitions with openness and accept that they are part of our adventure, not the obstacles to it. Keir's new "rule" now is that each transition time is given 15 minutes flat out. This timeframe, we hope, will remove some of that anxiety around keeping moving. That's the kind of people we are... we always want to be purposeful and to be moving forward. It is a challenge for us to recognize that these transitions ARE purposeful and that when living in a 12 x 6 campervan we sometimes (well...often....fine...ALWAYS) need to surrender to the transition.

And isn't "transition" just another word for "shift"? Shift Happens...Transition Happens. Deal as best you can! That IS one of the cornerstones of this adventure. We have faith that, as we practice these myriad transitions daily that it will get easier - and that we will get more comfortable with the ever shifting universe.

Sounds cheesy yes, but in our life in Toronto everything was so controlled - no - routinized. Our entire life seemed to be edging towards removing any kind of unexpected transition. We had become well programmed in our lives. Even when it was clear that something needed to change, we were unable to make the change. In a way, all that I went through at That Place made the decisions for us. The Shift was coming, despite the fact that we held the walls up, resisting it, for as long as we could. Perhaps if we'd just recognized it and responded when it first became apparent it wouldn't have had to be so traumatic? Then again, if it wasn't traumatic it may never have shook us into making the change that truly needed to happen. A bit of the chicken and the egg there!

Pema Chodran warns of the perils of NEEDING to feel the ground under our feet. Reminding us that the ground under our feet is always shifting. That, anytime you feel "settled" and "secured", prepare for a shift, because it IS coming. He suggests that what we need to do is become comfortable with the shifting itself and not always be seeking the ground under our feet.


-j



P.S. We're going to try to initial posts specifically written by one or the other of us. If there is no initial then know that it was written collabotatively!